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Gary Handman Presents

With so many interesting places to eat in the East Bay, choosing among them can be quite problematic. Professor G.P. Handman’s newest invention comes to the rescue!

Undecided diner wanders into café to sit and ponder choices. Over-zealous barista (A) sees potential customer and pulls triple macchiato. Jumpy UC meteorologist (B) sees steam rising from espresso machine, interprets as ominous sign of global warming, and reaches for cell phone to tweet bad news, thus lowering kale and quinoa faux-bone dog biscuit (C). Vegan Berkeley terrier (D) runs after biscuit on treadmill, which turns pinwheel of heirloom seed packets (E). Excited organic gardener (F) digs hole, filling basket (G) with dirt. Weighted basket trips hipster (H), who flings bottle of craft IPA, toppling sustainably produced bamboo knife block (I). Hand-forged Japanese santoku falls from block and cuts catapult rope (J). Catapult flings non-GMO Fuji apple (K), hitting spring-loaded dart-tossing mechanism (L). Voila! Restaurant decision is made.

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